colorless cloud

Don’t worry about me, I’m used to dealing with my shit, 

I say as i breathe deeply in. 

“Really?”, ask the shadows again. 

Death would be a fuckin relief. 

Dont worry about me, 

I say as a clutch my jaw, 

Dont worry about me, 

you believe as long as you dont see. 

How bad I sleep at night, 

horrible mares waking me up, 

drenched in Panic and sweat. 

Just to go back to bed. 

How bad I clench my jaw, 

every waking hour of the day, 

trying to keep that sweet smile up, 

while I myself keep giving up. 

How hopeless I am when I look at my life, 

how gray and useless, just sadness in excess. 

A small colorless cloud trying to fight, 

the oncoming storm that keeps out all light. 

It prepares for the fight to begin, 

tries to remember all the good old days when the rain sets in. 

Overwhelming wind and darkness rise, 

as the cloud meets its demise. 

Every day I fight, 

and yet everyday it seems I loose again. 

At trying to keep me from decayin. 

How many losses until I cant stand up anymore?