alone (14) children (1) cloud (3) dark (5) depression (11) different (7) dream (1) ed (1) family (2) friends (7) goodbye (2) heartbreak (2) help (4) hope (1) love (6) maybe (1) me (3) monster (3) numbered (1) pain (2) poem (4) random (5) sad (3) sarcasm (2) selfharm (3) society (1) suicide (10) text (2) trust (5) untitled (5) Update (3)

Monday, October 21, 2024

my brain is going...

 One frustrating thing with my memory issues that i have a whole habit. 

I look at something, "memorize" it, and then close the thing i need to remember to continue. And that is an old habit, so old that i don't even think about it, i just look at the text and go. 

But nowadays my memory is stupid, and i keep forgetting what i wanted to memorize. Like I remember that I memorized it, but not, what it was? The name of the file, but not the content. 
It feels like when you enter a room and you're sure there was a reason why you're here, but you scan your brain and cannot find this reason. 

And its frustrating, because it wasn't always like that. I used to be able to memorize things, like my clues to which page im reading or what email to login, but my brain just stopped saving at some points and i have to keep going back to refresh my memory, which is frustrating for everyone included, especially me. 

I don't want to forget your birthday or your plans or what you told me in secret, but my brain has like a couple of bits of space free at any given moment and while i am listening i can sometimes feel how the information gets deleted in my brain before the conversation is over. 

At work I help myself by screenshotting everything and everyone, but after half a year I have a screenshot folder that has like a thousand pictures, and i cant sort through that properly anyways. 

No comments:

Post a Comment